‘You have to make your family life into a work of art. You have to become a pleasing and artistic husband. If you find something good in a magazine, you should bring it home and read it with a soothing voice to your wife when she is about to fall asleep. If you dream of your wife while falling asleep after being deeply moved by this, your dream will be substantiated. This way of life will continue in the spirit world. How wonderful this is! Would you like to live like this, or would you like to live as very drab couples? If you wish to live such a life, you have to assume a new direction with a fresh mind-set enabling you to poses good vitality. This is the basic requirement’ TF ‘95
Conjugal love is what completes us as people. That is so because it is not an easy kind of love. It cannot be bought; it cannot be faked unless you are satisfied with living a lie. That is ok for the people around you, because they don’t care about your life, but what about you? How many of us wish to live off lies? Not many, if any.
Let me explain more in detail. Why is conjugal love difficult? And why do I say difficult? Compared to what? How can we make it easy?
Love appears natural and relatively easy between blood relatives: parents and children (parents love their children from the moment of birth and naturally want to change and sacrifice their lives for their children even if they are generally selfish people); brothers and/or sisters- siblings’ love (even though many will say it is not true: I cannot stand my sister or brother! That may be so, but when looking at siblings that are very closely connected, they will do and sacrifice whatever for their brother or sister. In Romania there is even a song praising the love of a brother) and in the end we find love between husband and wife (as most difficult of all).
Let me define what kind of love I am describing as to be found inside couples. I am talking about mature love, one that takes into account accepting as a partner for life someone that may sometimes have a different opinion than yours, someone that has flaws and they may worsen over time, someone that may require you to sacrifice yourself for him/her without any benefit other than making the other happy in your detriment. Such a love must be constant in time for that marriage to be fruitful and blossom. It is such a marriage described in my opening quote.
True love between husband and wife is not a feeling it is action, giving, sacrificing…constantly, without expecting the same from the other person. The question in the mind of the wife/ husband is: how can I make my spouse happy? What can I do? What am I doing that hurts him/her? True love is a decision that I must make each morning. It is not something I can take back!!
Sorry honey…I don’t love you anymore…I found someone else…I am in love…Or just a simple: I am not happy anymore with you, I made a mistake!
Reality flash: There is no one perfect for you!!! There is no one borne to make you happy!!! True love is the decision to help your spouse, support, admire and complement him/her, also sacrifice yourself for him/her. Such love will grow to infinite value. The children of such a marriage will be given the best model that they will ever need in life!!!
How wonderful it is! We must create such families, such marriages. Think of the other and not: what about me? Give without expecting back! Sacrifice with joy…this is how I define true love. This is the standard of saying: I really love you! And the best news is it entirely depends on my own actions. It lies within me to truly love someone! Think of how happy you would be if your future husband/wife would think like this! So why not be such a person ourselves…it is in our grasp!
It may seem too ideal, foolish or simply unrealistic…but look at the families that are a success story…in their example you will see why I wrote this article. Remember: Our life is our choice…we just have to truly take responsibility for it!
Great article!